Keeping people OUT of your marriage …
Marriage is a covenant relationship between a man, a woman, and God. Those are the only three people in the marriage covenant, yet by the way some people talk to others about their spouses, you would think marriages are a family or community event.
It’s true the Bible says there’s wisdom in many counselors, but we need to have wisdom about what that means. It’s not uncommon to see women routinely tell the most intimate details about their marriage to their girlfriends, only to get a broad array of counsel, much of which isn’t biblical, or godly, or wise. It’s also not uncommon for men to complain about their wives to their buddies, again only to get some counsel that would hurt a man’s relationship with his wife if he actually followed such advice.
The problem is, so many people invite so many others into their marriage that they do harm their covenant relationship because they listen to people give bad advice about a relationship that is none of their business.
And let’s be clear, your marriage is not the business of other people, it is between you, your spouse, and God. Any other people you may speak to about your marriage should be carefully chosen, and the counsel you seek should also be carefully selected and applied only with godly wisdom. To do less will invite influences into your marriage that could harm it. That’s why God designed it to be a covenant of just three people, not a covenant for a family, extended family, friends, co-workers, or people in your small group Bible study.
When you really have to talk to someone about your marriage, start with your spouse and God. If there is a real reason to go beyond that, limit it to the most godly and trustworthy person you know. Don’t make the mistake of thinking your marriage is a reality show to be participated in and voted on by many, or to be used as a form of entertainment for others. Thinking that way could be a quick audition for “Divorce Court.”