How constant resistance is leaving so many pastors drained …

There’s a reason so many pastors are exhausted, and it’s not always the preaching, the counseling, or the long hours. It’s the constant resistance so many have to endure. Not just the occasional concern or thoughtful question, but the unending habit some people have of opposing nearly everything. For too many pastors, no decision is simple, no message is safe, and no week passes without pushback from the very people they’re trying to serve.

Pastoral ministry is rewarding, sacred, and deeply fulfilling. But it is also a profession increasingly marked by fatigue. One significant, and often overlooked, reason is the constant resistance pastors face, often over matters that have little eternal significance. Not all churches are like this, and not all members are combative. But for those pastors who are quietly battling this dynamic, it wears them down in ways few people understand.

When every decision is met with suspicion
Whether it’s the sermon length, a change in the bulletin design, the type of bread used in communion, or the color of the new carpet, some pastors find that nearly every step is met with a steady drip of disapproval. Sometimes it’s passive. Other times, it’s bold. And no matter how kindly they preach, how prayerfully they lead, or how biblically sound their decisions are, there are people who treat resistance as a kind of personal ministry.

This isn’t about healthy accountability or appropriate disagreement, that’s part of spiritual maturity. This is about the low-grade antagonism that quietly wears down the soul. The kind that turns board meetings into battlefields, drains the joy from preaching, and makes a Monday resignation letter seem like a realistic option.

Even in the early church, pastors faced constant resistance
Resistance to spiritual leadership is not new. Throughout the New Testament, faithful church leaders encountered pushback that left them frustrated, grieved, and often exhausted.

Paul endured persistent resistance, even from churches he had founded and served sacrificially. To the Corinthian church, which questioned his authority, he wrote, “For some say, ‘Paul’s letters are demanding and forceful, but in person he is weak, and his speeches are worthless!'” 2 Corinthians 10:10. Elsewhere he appealed, “Have I now become your enemy because I am telling you the truth” Galatians 4:16. He was often forced to defend both his calling and his message — not to outsiders, but to the very people he loved and served.

John, too, faced opposition within the church. In 3 John 1:9–10, he wrote, “I wrote to the church about this, but Diotrephes, who loves to be the leader, refuses to have anything to do with us. When I come, I will report some of the things he is doing and the evil accusations he is making against us. Not only does he refuse to welcome the traveling teachers, he also tells others not to help them. And when they do help, he puts them out of the church.”

Paul’s counsel to Titus confirms how exhausting this kind of behavior could be for pastors. “Do not get involved in foolish discussions about spiritual pedigrees or in quarrels and fights about obedience to Jewish laws. These things are useless and a waste of time. If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them,” Titus 3:9–10. The early church was no stranger to dysfunction, and spiritual leaders were often the ones who bore the brunt of it.

What the Bible actually says about following our leaders
God is not silent about how church members should treat their leaders. Scripture gives clear and sobering instruction. “Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work. And live peacefully with each other,” 1 Thessalonians 5:12–13.

It’s not just about liking a pastor’s personality or style, it’s about respecting the weight they carry in service to God’s people. Hebrews puts it plainly: “Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit,” Hebrews 13:17.

This isn’t a call to blind allegiance, it’s a call to spiritual maturity. Leaders are not above correction, but correction is not supposed to be a lifestyle for church members. Being difficult is not a fruit of the Spirit.

Push less, pray more
For those in the pews, perhaps the better ministry is the quieter one: interceding for your pastor, supporting them when no one’s watching, defending them when others gossip, and encouraging them with your words. The resistance they face from the enemy is real enough. They don’t need a second front opened up by the people they shepherd.

If you’re blessed with a good pastor, don’t make them work twice as hard to do what they’ve already given their life to do. Push less. Pray more. Respect God’s design for spiritual leadership, and you’ll discover something beautiful: your pastor will not only be less exhausted, they’ll be able to serve with joy again.

Scotty