Research shows the intentional pursuit of happiness can actually foster unhappiness …

“I just want to be happy.” It’s the phrase we hear constantly, and billions of dollars are spent every year chasing this elusive feeling. But what if the very act of chasing happiness is the problem? What if the pursuit itself is draining us, rather than filling us?

Psychologists define happiness not as fleeting pleasure but as subjective well-being, a person’s overall sense that life is meaningful and satisfying. It encompasses positive emotions but also includes contentment and acceptance of life’s ups and downs. Yet the modern culture distorts this understanding, reducing happiness to a constant state of feeling good, something we must sustain at all costs.

A landmark 2025 study published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being titled “Happiness Depletes Me: Seeking Happiness Impairs Limited Resources and Self-Regulation,” by Aekyoung Kim and Sam Maglio, shines a harsh light on this cultural myth. The researchers found that actively trying to be happy actually consumes a finite pool of mental resources — specifically, self-regulation and cognitive capacity.

When people were encouraged to focus on feeling happy, they showed signs of depletion: they gave up earlier on difficult tasks, exhibited more impulsive behavior, and felt emotionally drained. Constantly checking in with oneself, asking “Am I happy yet?” demands ongoing attention and energy. This internal monitoring uses the same limited psychological resources required for decision-making, problem-solving, and self-control.

In practical terms, this means the more we try to manufacture happiness, the more fragile and exhausted we become. Instead of boosting well-being, the pursuit backfires, impairing our ability to cope with life’s challenges.

While the “happiness industry” — including wellness apps, inspirational content, and self-improvement tools — is booming, with Americans spending over $10 billion annually on these products, this trend often traps people in a cycle of dissatisfaction. When happiness is seen as a constant goal to be pursued, normal emotional fluctuations like boredom or sadness become “failures.” This pressure breeds anxiety and intolerance for discomfort, ironically making lasting happiness even more elusive.

Research consistently shows that those reporting the highest life satisfaction aren’t those who chase happiness directly but those who build their lives around purpose, deep relationships, and meaningful effort. These elements don’t guarantee momentary pleasure, but they foster a durable foundation for happiness to grow naturally, without the exhausting need to force it.

This struggle over happiness is not new. Long before modern psychology, scripture recognized that true happiness is not something to be grasped after directly. Instead, it emerges from a deeper foundation. That’s why Jesus instructs us in Matthew 6:33 to “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” — this offers a life focus that shifts attention away from the exhausting chase for happiness itself. It points instead to a life aligned with God’s purposes, where satisfaction comes from trust and obedience rather than self-directed striving.

This biblical perspective complements the psychological findings: when we place our hope in One greater than ourselves and prioritize meaningful living, happiness arises naturally. It is not something to push after or constantly monitor but a byproduct of a rightly-oriented life.

Scotty