Overcoming the”conquer” mentality…

Why does romance often fade from a relationship once a couple gets married?

Well, there can be multiple reasons, but guys … yes, it’s true … it’s often our fault!

Face it, women are more romance-oriented (although some guys are quite the romantics) because they are naturally more relationship-oriented. Men, on the other hand, are more “conquer” oriented. Just look at the average guy on a roadtrip. While women will spend time looking at and commenting on the scenery, the man is out to “conquer” the trip. We don’t like to be passed by vehicles we’ve passed, we don’t want to stop, we want to get to our destination … to conquer.

Guys are conquer-oriented in much of what they do … including courtships. The goal is to “conquer” or “win” the girl. Once that is done, so goes much of the energy put into conquering. After all, once you have the girl, the conquering part is done.

But not the keeping part!

Women have a need for romance throughout the relationship. And the relationship isn’t about just “getting the girl,” but keeping her is pretty important.

To do that, the man needs to take responsibility for keeping romance a real, ongoing part of the relationship! So here it comes guys, the BIG challenge: If you really want to keep the romance in your marriage, and to make your wife feel special, loved, and cherished, then take her on a date once a week for the rest of your lives!

I can here it now …

“… you’ve got to be kidding …”
“… that’s unrealistic …”
“… you can’t do it when you have children …”
“… you don’t understand my schedule and responsibilities …”
“… we don’t have the money to go on a date …”
“… maybe once a month but once a week would never work …”

I would be more than happy to help any guy work through their set of excuses, but excuses are just what they are. Guys, your wife is supposed to be the second most important relationship in your life, second only to God. If you can’t … or won’t … forge out a little personal time alone with just her each week (no kids, no buddies, no television, and no texting or twittering), your priorities are vastly out of whack and you need to sit down and get them in order again.

It can be done. There are many men I know personally who have done this for decades. The issue is wanting to, caring enough about your relationship with your wife to make it that important.

Somewhere, there’s someone who will watch the kids. There are multiple things you can do that will only cost you a little gas money. There are ways.

You have to have the want to.

For those who take up the challenge, I would bet if you stick to this week in and week out, you will see a great impact in your marriage.

Your wife deserves to be loved like this.

Now open your calendar, sit down with your wife, and book the first date.

Right now!

Scotty