Cause no harm …

This evening I saw a dad leaving a store, his son directly behind him.

What I couldn’t hear was an obvious disagreeable conversation going on between them. The son (probably no older than 10) looked both sad and emotional, the father somewhat stern.

Suddenly the father stopped and turned toward the son. The son stopped, flinched, and for a brief second raised his hands toward his face in a protecting manner.

I’ve seen that flinch before. But only in humans and animals that have been hit.

I don’t want to read anything into a few seconds of observation, but honestly, my heart sank.

I’ve seen that flinch.

Parents — and men in particular — it’s one thing to have your children respect you, and to “fear” discipline, but it’s another thing entirely for them to be scared of physical harm from you.

I lived my childhood terrified of physical harm from my father. Fortunately, I escaped without physical abuse, but not without a lot of emotional abuse from him. Near the end of my mother’s life, she endured a beating from him.

It is a cowardly thing, and not the act of a man, to harm a child. I will leave that as enough said.

But men, take a close look at your relationship with your children and make sure your children are not scared of you. That is not respect, that is not a form of discipline, and that is no way to treat any child.

Let me encourage you that if you find you have been treating your children in a frightening way, to immediately change your relationship with your child, and get help on how to do so if you need it.

Love your children, discipline them appropriately, correct and guide them, but by no means harm them.

Scotty