Turn on the spotlight and listen …

One of the most encouraging things we can do for people we are with is to let them have their moment!

What I mean by that is learning to listen and respond “non-competitively” to others. You may have observed on several occasions how, when someone is telling a story about an experience of theirs, the response from the listener is to respond with their own story of equal or greater content. Instead of listening to the story and letting that moment belong to the experience of the story-teller, we compete with it by telling our own story of similar or greater experience. What that does is dismiss the sharing of the experience of the story-teller and turns it into a comparison of experiences.

When someone tells one of their stories to us, it’s to share that experience with us. It’s not a time to compare or compete. To really share in the experience with the story-teller, we should listen intently, and respond in ways that acknowledges the other person’s experience, such as, “Wow, that must have been very difficult for you …”, “… it sounds like you had a terrific time …” or “… so what did you do about the situation?”

Acknowledge what the person has said, share their experience with them, and let the moment be theirs. You’ll be amazed at how listened to and appreciated they will feel when they can share with you without having to compete.

Scotty