How relationship-building has hurt the church …
You would think an almost constant effort at encouraging Christians to make relationships with non-Christians would be a good thing. But a key point to building relationships has been missing, and the result has been the near death of evangelism.
By the way, do you remember the term “evangelism”? It’s one we rarely ever hear from church leaders any more.
That’s part of the problem!
People have come to know Christ as Lord by participating in evangelistic events. But non-believers are more willing to listen to the Gospel message from someone they know and trust. Thus, building relationships is a vital part for more significant and effective evangelism.
The problem is that leaders mostly talk about building relationships without explaining the purpose for doing so: so that we may have a better context for sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ!
Here’s the simple point: relationships do not automatically equal evangelism.
Simply creating a friendship with a non-Christian does not mean that through some mystical means your new friend will become a Christian. That fact has been proven as we see Christians making lots of relationships but with little evangelistic result. They’re doing what they are encouraged to do (make relationships) but not understanding the primary purpose for doing so.
What makes this more problematic is that many churches have “placed all their eggs in one basket,” meaning they are relying almost entirely on relationship-building as their method of evangelism. Throughout the history of the church, from Peter preaching to a crowd of people he did not have relationships with, we have seen that evangelistic events can be an effective means for sharing the Gospel. However, events often don’t have outcomes as broad as does sharing Christ through relationships, but that isn’t a sound means for eliminating all of them.
People who really aren’t so open to making relationships might be open to attending an evangelistic event. And any number of people are open to making new friends. Both should be done with the idea that, as Christians, we want to use any opportunity — from friendships to structured settings — to share the Gospel with those who don’t know Christ.
In other words, we need to evangelize through all means possible!
Scotty
March 23, 2011 at 7:43 pm
I think that the reason our relationships w/unbelievers don't magically result in people becoming disciples of Jesus has more to do w/how devoted we are to Jesus, and how much we are His disciples. Nobody is going to come to Christ thru a relationship with just me, but if Jesus is living and breathing within me, He will draw people to Himself. If I lift Him up. If I am sold out to Him.If I live a transparent, honest, passionately loving, dependent on Jesus life.
At my daughter's high school, the kids in her classes actually thought that she was Jewish. They knew that she loved God, but she was not like the Christian kids, the ones who "evangelized", who stuck together and only deigned to enter the "danger zone" of sinners in order to preach at them from atop a pedestal. On "Hug a Jew" day this year, everyone kept coming up to my daughter and hugging her, even though most of them now know that she is not Jewish, but Christian. Still, she was the only Jewish-like person at the school.
She and I were talking about her "being" Jewish, and I said to her, "Well, you know, you are a disciple of a Jewish Rabbi, and the Jewish Messiah. Maybe they sense The Messiah in you?"
I don't think that authentic relationships are supposed to have ulterior motives. Are we humble enough to let our unbelieving friends see us struggling, or to allow them to help us when we need it? Do we value and love them as precious friends, for who they are in God's (and our) eyes rather than who we hope they will be one day? Will we be weak in front of them, so that when God is strong in us they see Him, and not us?
I think when something doesn't work in the church, we need to examine ourselves deeply and personally before God, not just our policies and practices.
March 24, 2011 at 5:31 pm
I appreciate your thoughts, although I would differ in one way. While I agree fully that relationships should be authentic connections that are love-based, there is an "ulterior motive" for any relationship a Christian would have: to represent Jesus Christ and to share the Gospel with every lost person.
Christ did not come simply to make friends, or simply to have relationships, but to seek and save the lost. He had an "ulterior motive" and we are called to follow in His steps. The most truly loving thing we can do for anyone is to love them as Christ loved them, which is to make central in the relationship the sharing and celebration of Christ. And sharing Christ doesn't simply happen by osmosis; it takes more than just an example. However, seeking the lost to share the Gospel so that they may be saved can be a purpose accomplished in genuine, loving relationship. It's not a matter of being a real friend, and then maybe be able to share the Gospel, OR be someone who "preaches from a pedestal" and ONLY seeks to evangelize.
Very simply, I don't think we can honestly claim to be either a real friend, or truly loving, if we as Christians build relationships that void the sharing of news of God's grace with someone who doesn't know it.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here!