How to remove guilt from your sinful choices …

It was my first meeting with the couple seated on the couch in my office. They were not members of the local church where I served, but lived in the neighborhood and had been recommended to call on me for counseling.

Both the husband and wife took turns adding to the telling of their story, which really was a simple one: after 12 years of marriage, they were divorcing. Neither had cheated on the other, they were just tired of being married to one another and wanted a different life. One that didn’t include the other person.

So why did they come to see me?

They wanted counseling for their post-divorce experience. They wanted to be able to walk away from their marriage without feeling bad about doing so. As far as they were concerned, they were on the cusp of a grand new adventure and wanted some guidance in developing a different life.

They came to the wrong guy.

The reason is I wouldn’t help them with what they were asking for. I couldn’t participate in contributing to their view that marriage is whatever you want it to be, and if you tired of it, you could close it like a chapter in a book and begin a new one.

It wasn’t just their view of marriage that was key here, it was their view of life. They knew about God but had chosen not to have anything to do with Him. They were living life on their terms and wanted assistance in feeling good about it and succeeding with it.

Life doesn’t work that way.

I spent some time sharing with them about who we are spiritually, what we believe about God, and who He is to us is the greatest reality of our lives. Without addressing life from a foundation of truth, a person would have to make up false realities for themselves, only to experience the inevitable failure of those creations. I did encourage them it was possible for them to build a fulfilling, joy-filled life together if they were willing to investigate anew what God had to offer them.

They weren’t willing, so our time ended cordially, with an open invitation to help them any way I could that would both honor God and, from that position, benefit them.

That meeting was not an uncommon one, and not just among unbelievers. I’ve had many similar meetings with people professing to be followers of Christ who found their lives suffering from sin. Their request was to help them find a way to maintain their choices for sin and still keep their lives together … and not “get in trouble” with God.

What these people didn’t seem to understand is that you cannot have both sin and God’s blessing.

It’s not surprising so many professing Christians tend to think they can have their sin and God’s blessing, too, when you consider how today we preach an easy gospel. Just say a prayer and you will satisfy God and tap into a bunch of good stuff He has waiting for you.

That’s not the Gospel we read about in scripture.

Instead, as just one example, we see the Apostle Peter stand before thousands of people who were not followers of Christ and boldly instruct them to repent. Today, there are too few who have the courage to call professing Christians to repentance even when their sin is blatant and unapologetic. If we do not have the courage to call Christians to repentance, it is no wonder we do not have the courage to call unbelievers to repentance.

Yet, there is an unfailing, unfading truth: you cannot follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ and simultaneously choose to practice sin. John gave us simple, clear insight about this:

“Dear children, don’t let anyone deceive you about this: When people do what is right, it shows that they are righteous, even as Christ is righteous. But when people keep on sinning, it shows that they belong to the devil, who has been sinning since the beginning. But the Son of God came to destroy the works of the devil. Those who have been born into God’s family do not make a practice of sinning, because God’s life is in them. So they can’t keep on sinning, because they are children of God. So now we can tell who are children of God and who are children of the devil. Anyone who does not live righteously and does not love other believers does not belong to God,” 1 John 3:7-10.

There are many counselors out there who are willing to try to help individuals and couples remove guilt from sinful choices. They all fail.

If you want to remove guilt from sinful choices, there’s a simple remedy: repent.

Have you repented of sin and turned fully to God? Or are you trying to hold on to sin and demand others accept the sin you’ve chosen? Are you trying to find a way to make life work with sin in it, or have you repented in preference to building a holy life empowered by the Spirit and blessed by God?

Scotty