A great mother with a serious deficit …

My mother passed from this life nearly 43 years ago. Perhaps it’s taken that many years for me to finally face the reality that while in many – perhaps even in most – ways she was a great mother, as a mom there was one serious deficit.

First, let me say say I love my mother deeply and her greatest capacity was in loving her eight children. We desperately needed a great love from her because my father was a cruel man and a thoroughly horrible dad. I actually don’t remember a day in my childhood of not being afraid of him. I think all of us kids were terrified of the possibility that one day, when he went on one of his tirades of anger and unleashed rage, that he might hurt or kill us all.

My mom protected us from him, and she made life as full of love and joy as she possibly could for a poor family with a bad father.

Even though I was just turning a teen when my mom died suddenly and unexpectedly, I still remember several moments of closeness with her. But as great as she was at loving her children, today as an adult I have to say there was a glaring deficit in her parenting: she did not lead us to Christ.

Our family went to church when our father would allow us to, and I remember some times when my mom sang a duet in church with my dad. I know she believed in God, but I don’t have any memories of seeing her open a Bible at home or ever teaching us the Gospel.

She didn’t lead us to Jesus. She did NOT lead us away from Him, but she didn’t lead us to Him.

Some may say her great capacity to express love and kindness was her living out Christlikeness. That could be true, but if we’re honest, we all know the Gospel is not taught, nor understood, by osmosis: it must be shared with words, and I didn’t hear those from her.

That by no means affects the great love I have for my mother, and my deep gratitude for the love she demonstrated for me. But it highlights the reality that no matter how wonderful a mother (or father) is, their greatest calling as a parent is to lead their children to Jesus. If your children are lavished with your love in this life, only to finish this life without Jesus, then they will come to their end in the worst of all possible conditions.

It could be that my memory of my mom is faulty and I’m forgetting some things she may have done to lead us to Jesus. But I find comfort for my mother in knowing what her last known spoken words were: “God forgive me, God be with me.”

I look forward to seeing my mother again, the next time in the presence of Jesus, and hopefully having an opportunity to thank her for providing a love for me that helped me get through some very difficult times in life. I never had an opportunity to know my mother as an adult or ever have an adult conversation with her. We’ll have eternity to do that.

Moms and dads, your love of your children is one of the greatest needs your children have. But the greatest is for them to come into a covenant relationship with Jesus. Helping them do that is your greatest and highest calling as a parent. Don’t let it be your deficit.

Scotty