That overwhelming sense of helplessness may have been crafted from your own irrational thinking …

There’s a horrible myth you’ll see bandied about social media and peppered into public statements, especially among “positive thinking gurus” that states, “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

For many people, that is a great untruth.

In fact, many people find themselves feeling utterly helpless in life because of facing a string of experiences that didn’t kill them, but made them weaker, battered, fearful, petrified.

However, that is often because of their own irrational thoughts, with which they have conditioned themselves to experience “learned helplessness.”

SOME EXAMPLES
Let’s start by watching a powerful example of “learned helplessness” in a stunning short video about training fleas. Before moving on, take 49 seconds to watch the video below:

In the same way, we can condition ourselves to a sense of helplessness or false limits by what we say to ourselves. Here are some additional examples:

John faced continuous rejections in his job search despite his qualifications. Over time, he stopped applying, convinced he was destined for unemployment. Even when a suitable job opening arose, he hesitated, believing his efforts wouldn’t matter. Learned helplessness had taken hold, hindering his ability to persevere and seize opportunities.

Mary, after experiencing a series of failed relationships, developed a belief that she was unworthy of love. Despite meeting genuinely caring individuals, she struggled to trust and engage in new connections, convinced that eventual heartbreak was inevitable. Her learned helplessness in matters of the heart hindered her from building fulfilling relationships.

After a string of setbacks in her academic pursuits, Sarah began to doubt her abilities. Despite receiving positive feedback on her work, she couldn’t shake the feeling of impending failure. This learned helplessness led her to avoid challenging projects, limiting her academic and personal growth.

Consider a Christian named Alex who faced a series of personal challenges and sins. Despite seeking forgiveness and desiring spiritual growth, Alex became overwhelmed by a sense of guilt and inadequacy. Over time, he started believing that no matter how hard he tried, he’ll never be “worthy” of God’s love and grace. This learned helplessness in his spiritual life may lead Alex to withdraw from church activities, the practice of spiritual disciplines, and fellowship, further hindering his ability to experience the transformative power of faith and forgiveness.

A DEFINITION
“Learned helplessness” is a very real, and seriously destructive, psychological concept first introduced by psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven Maier in 1967. It refers to a state of passive resignation or learned inability to overcome challenges or escape aversive situations, even when escape or change is possible.

The theory of learned helplessness was initially developed through experiments with animals, particularly dogs. In these experiments, dogs were subjected to uncontrollable and inescapable electric shocks. Later, when given the opportunity to escape the shocks by performing a specific action, some dogs showed a lack of initiative and failed to take action, exhibiting a state of helplessness.

This concept has been extended to human behavior, suggesting that individuals who experience repeated failure or adversity, particularly when they perceive a lack of control over the situation, may develop a mindset of helplessness. They may come to believe (very specifically through their own self-talk) that their efforts are futile and that they have no control over their circumstances, leading to a decrease in motivation and becoming increasingly unwilling to put forth any effort at improving their situation (because such a thought seems useless to them because they have become overwhelmed with a sense of helplessness).

OVERCOMING LEARNED HELPLESSNESS
Some good news: What can be learned — especially from irrational thinking — can also be unlearned!

Just as we can literally condition ourselves to become helpless, we can learn to undo the thinking that crafted such a harmful condition. Here are some basic steps to overcoming learned helplessness:

See the irrationality of your thinking by learning to recognize cognitive distortions. The first step is to see and acknowledge how your own thinking has convinced you that you’re defeated.

Cognitive restructuring. Learn how to challenge and reframe irrational thoughts and patterns or habits of cognitive distortions. A competent Christian counselor skilled in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy can equip you with multiple effective cognitive restructuring techniques.

Develop a rational mindset. Embrace a mindset that views challenges as opportunities for growth. Focus on learning and improvement rather than viewing setbacks as permanent failures.

Learn from past successes. Reflect on past achievements and successes. Remind yourself of instances where you overcame challenges, demonstrating your ability to overcome adversity.

Take action. The longer you tell yourself you can’t, the longer you won’t, which only reinforces and deepens the sense of helplessness. Instead, actively engage in problem-solving and decision-making. Taking initiative, even in small steps, can help regain a sense of stabilizing your life and and being able to move forward in a positive way from where you are.

Set realistic goals. Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable tasks. Success in smaller tasks can build confidence and help counter feelings of helplessness.

Seek support. Connect with friends, family, your pastor, fellow church members, or professionals who can provide encouragement, guidance, and support. Social support can be instrumental in overcoming learned helplessness.

EXERCISE YOUR FAITH
Someone who is experiencing learned helplessness has, as the saying goes, “gotten into their own head” and listen to their irrational thoughts even above what the teachings of their Christian faith would say. This is a time when a person needs to live out their faith, which can include:

Exercise your faith and trust in God. Proverbs 3:5-6 is often quoted as if it were just a cliche, but it’s times like this when we need to live out such biblical teaching: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

Renewing your thoughts and attitudes. The idea of renewing the mind aligns with cognitive restructuring, encouraging believers to focus on yielding to the Holy Spirit to help you change your thinking:

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect,” Romans 12:2.

“Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes,” Ephesians 4:23.

Seek God’s strength. When we feel the most helpless, we need to learn to rely on God, who is all-powerful. The Apostle Paul gave us an example of this, writing, “Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me,” 2 Corinthians 12:9.

Foster your identity in Christ and build a biblical worldview. Recognizing your identity as a child of God reinforces a sense of purpose and value. Instead of defining oneself by past failures or challenges, a Christian can find assurance in being loved and valued by their Creator.

A biblical worldview provides a framework for understanding life’s purpose and meaning. Recognizing that challenges are part of a larger narrative can give individuals a sense of direction and hope, discouraging feelings of futility. And believing in God’s sovereignty and trusting in Him, even during difficult times, can instill a sense of purpose and assurance that transcends immediate circumstances. This faith can counteract the hopelessness associated with learned helplessness.

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” 2 Corinthians 5:17.

Learning perseverance and endurance. Biblical teachings emphasize the value of perseverance in the face of challenges, recognizing that even the worst of trials can lead to spiritual growth and maturity.

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing,” James 1:2-4.

Gain strength, encouragement, and support from your church family. The Bible teaches us we have been united together in one body as the family of God, and exhorts us to bear each other’s burdens. We should be able to depend on our church family when we need help to live life as God would have us to.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken,” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.

Scotty