Do you suffer from “striver syndrome”?

Yesterday I finished reviewing a book manuscript written by a very successful business person who, later in life, finally identified he suffers from “striver syndrome.”

“Striver syndrome” isn’t a formally recognized psychological term, but is a phrase used to describe a certain type of high-achiever. These individuals are characterized by an intense drive to succeed, coupled with a high degree of emotional sensitivity.

The term “striver syndrome” is increasingly used to describe individuals who are highly motivated, ambitious, and constantly striving for success. People with striver syndrome often set high goals for themselves, work hard to achieve them, and may experience a strong desire for recognition and achievement. This term is often used in the context of personal and professional development to describe individuals who are driven to excel and constantly seek improvement in various aspects of their lives. It can be associated with a strong work ethic, perseverance, and a commitment to continuous self-improvement.

While many people often admire individuals who are high achievers, what they don’t know is how miserable those who suffer from “striver syndrome” are, or usually become.

That was the case of the fellow who wrote the manuscript I reviewed. He achieved all of the greatest goals he had set for himself … then found himself empty. He was always striving because what he was striving after didn’t have the means of truly fulfilling anyone.

COMMON TRAITS
Key traits among people who struggle with striver syndrome include:

High achievers. Strivers are often ambitious and goal-oriented. They set high standards for themselves and work hard to achieve them. They may excel in academics, careers, or other areas of life.

Emotionally sensitive. Strivers are also highly attuned to their own emotions and the emotions of others. They may experience emotions more intensely than others and be more affected by criticism or rejection.

Perfectionism. Strivers often have a tendency toward perfectionism. They may be critical of themselves and others, and they may struggle to accept anything less than perfect.

People-pleasing. Some strivers may also have a tendency towards people-pleasing. They may put the needs of others before their own and may be afraid of disappointing others.

Burnout. The combination of high achievement and emotional sensitivity can make strivers vulnerable to burnout. They may experience exhaustion, cynicism, and a sense of detachment from their work or personal life.

TAKE THE QUIZ
Melody Wilding, LMSW, shared in Forbes Magazine a quiz of 18 questions to help determine if a person is a “sensitive striver,” or someone struggling with striver syndrome. If you’re curious, take the quiz to see how you fare:

1. You experience emotions to an unusual level of depth and complexity.
2. You have a strong desire to “exceed expectations” in every aspect of your life.
3. You consider yourself to be driven and ambitious.
4. You crave meaning and fulfillment.
5. You need time to think through decisions before you act.
6. You have an inner critic that never takes a day off.
7. You are kind, compassionate, and genuinely empathetic to others.
8. You have a keen ability to sense other people’s feelings.
9. You often put other people’s needs ahead of your own.
10. You find it difficult to set boundaries and often say “yes” too much.
11. You have struggled with burnout in the past.
12. You are easily impacted by stress.
13. You struggle to “turn off” your mind because it’s constantly filled with thoughts.
14. You feel anxious when you’re caught off guard or know you’re being watched.
15. You hold yourself to high standards.
16. You try to get things “right” and judge yourself harshly if you make mistakes.
17. You often get stuck in indecision and analysis paralysis.
18. You fear feedback and take criticism to heart.

If you relate to nine or more of the statements above, you can confidently call yourself a Sensitive Striver (or be concerned you’re probably struggling with striver syndrome).

ANECDOTAL INSIGHTS
It is my observation, from a few decades of clinical experience, that people who suffer this kind of drive to achieve but remain empty likely do so because of two primary (not only) root causes — a weakness trait in their temperament, and/or there’s a spiritual problem (more likely a combination of both).

So much of what describes “striver syndrome” are descriptions common as weaknesses in a couple of the “stronger” or more leader-oriented temperaments. Temperament never changes, anyone (everyone!) can learn to live from their temperament strengths and minimize or overcome their temperament weaknesses.

The concept of striver syndrome usually conflicts with biblical teachings, particularly in the areas of contentment, values, priorities, and relationships:

Contentment. The Bible emphasizes contentment with what one has. We read in 1 Timothy 6:6, “Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth.” Striver syndrome may lead individuals to be constantly discontent, always seeking more achievements or success, potentially neglecting the value of contentment as emphasized in biblical teachings.

Values and priorities. Biblical teachings stress the importance of aligning one’s values and priorities with God’s will. Matthew 6:33 directs is like this: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” If the pursuit of success becomes the primary focus, it then conflicts with the biblical principle of prioritizing God’s kingdom and righteousness above personal achievements, and actually becomes an idol.

Relationships. Biblical teachings highlight the significance of relationships and love for others. Matthew 22:39 teaches us to, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If “striver syndrome” results in neglecting relationships or pursuing success at the expense of others, it may conflict with biblical teaching.

There can be multiple root causes to striver syndrome, and overcoming it can be challenging but absolutely possible. If you’re “sensitive striver” who suffers with striver syndrome, I encourage you to seek counsel from your minister or a competent Christian mental health professional.

Scotty