Suggestions for how NOT to be an antagonistic parent …

by 0 Comments

If you’re a kid, you want good parents.

Here’s a snippet from a guy who seemed to get the vast responsibility he had as a dad:

“By profession, I am a soldier, and take pride in that fact, but I am prouder, infinitely prouder, to be a father. A soldier destroys in order to build; a father only builds, never destroys. The one has the potentialities of death; the other embodies creation of life; and while the hordes of death are mighty, the battalions of life are mightier still. It is my hope that my son, when I am gone, will remember me, not from the battle, but in the home repeating with him our simple, daily prayer, our Father Who art in Heaven,” – General Douglas MacArthur.

Unlike this famous general, there are many who would rather command their children like a general to a private than nurture a positive relationship from which to raise their children. While the Bible certainly does provide instruction for firm and consistent discipline, it also instructs parents not to act as an antagonist toward their children who provoke them to anger:

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord,” Ephesians 6:4.

So, how can you parent your children so that you don’t (at least, you don’t purposely) antagonize them? Here are some suggestions:

Positive reinforcement. Encourage good behavior through praise and positive reinforcement rather than focusing solely on correction. Let your children know you see what they’re doing right, rather than only bringing to their attention what you think they’re doing wrong.

Patience and gentleness. As the Holy Spirit is working in YOU, apply the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) in your parenting attitudes and behavior — like patience and gentleness — when addressing mistakes or disobedience.

Teaching and correction. Use a teaching approach when correcting behavior, helping children understand the reasons (the “why”) behind rules and consequences.

Active listening. Listen actively to your children’s concerns, showing empathy and understanding before offering guidance.

Lead with love. Approach parenting from a foundation of love, as emphasized in 1 Corinthians 16:14, to create a nurturing and supportive environment.

Prayerful guidance. Seek God’s guidance through prayer when faced with parenting challenges, relying on divine wisdom to navigate situations.

Consistent discipline. Apply discipline consistently and calmly, ensuring that consequences are reasonable and aligned with biblical principles.

Model forgiveness. Demonstrate forgiveness as an essential aspect of the Christian worldview, teaching children the importance of reconciliation.

Encourage dialogue. Foster open communication by inviting your children to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of harsh judgment.

Set realistic expectations. Understand and acknowledge age-appropriate behavior, setting realistic expectations while providing guidance and support.

Do you have a habit of commanding your children, often provoking them to anger, or are you purposely careful not to be an antagonistic parent?

Scotty