When the past influences your present without your permission …

Some wounds don’t show up as scars. They show up in patterns — reactions you can’t explain, fears that seem irrational, emotional outbursts that don’t match the moment. They show up in relationships, in how you see yourself, in the thoughts that chase you when you try to rest. The past may not be happening anymore, but it still finds ways to influence how you live now.

Dr. Daniel Amen, a double board-certified psychiatrist and founder of Amen Clinics, has spent decades using brain imaging to study the relationship between past emotional experiences and current mental and brain health. His clinical work led him to identify what he calls “dragons from the past” — emotional imprints from earlier life experiences that continue to affect how people think, feel, and behave in the present.

These dragons are not metaphors for memory. They are deeply ingrained emotional patterns that live in the brain’s fear centers, especially the amygdala. While not everyone has all of them, most people live with more than one. They show up automatically and often silently, until they’re named — and tamed. Dr. Amen identifies thirteen distinct dragons, each with unique origins, triggers, emotional reactions, and specific patterns of Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs). Taming these dragons isn’t about suppressing emotions, it’s about healing the patterns that drive them. And each dragon demands its own approach.

1. The Abandoned, Invisible, or Insignificant Dragon.
Origin: Formed by experiences of emotional neglect, abandonment, or feeling unseen – often in childhood.
Triggers: Being ignored, belittled, left out, or overlooked.
Reactions: Loneliness, hypersensitivity to rejection, difficulty trusting others, fear of commitment.
ANTs: “I’m not important.” “People always leave.” “No one really sees me.”

Taming strategies:

• Clarify your purpose. Purpose fuels self-worth. Use journaling or counseling to explore what drives you and how you can contribute to others.
• Seek out connection through contribution. Volunteer. Join groups that serve. Becoming part of something meaningful helps reverse invisibility.
• Challenge the narrative. When you sense abandonment, pause and ask, “What am I believing about myself right now?” Replace reactive assumptions with truth-based thinking.

2. The Flawed or Inferior Dragon.
Origin: Stemming from constant comparison, shaming, or environments that valued performance over identity.
Triggers: Social media, competitive environments, critical comments, mirrors.
Reactions: Perfectionism, jealousy, body dysmorphia, low self-esteem.
ANTs: “I’m not good enough.” “I’ll never measure up.” “They’re better than me.”

Taming strategies:

• Stop the comparison reflex. Use metacognitive training to notice comparison in real time and interrupt it with gratitude or affirmation.
• Redirect focus to growth, not evaluation. Set goals based on progress rather than peer comparison. Keep a journal that logs positive progress.
• Limit exposure to toxic comparison triggers. Curate social media feeds. Choose in-person relationships that not toxic.

3. The Anxious Dragon.
Origin: Comes from unpredictable or unsafe environments that programmed you to expect danger.
Triggers: Ambiguity, change, stress, unfamiliar situations.
Reactions: Panic, racing thoughts, muscle tension, insomnia.
ANTs: “Something bad is going to happen.” “I can’t handle this.” “I need to escape.”

Taming strategies:

• Use diaphragmatic breathing. Engage the vagus nerve to calm your nervous system with slow, deep breathing.
• Ground yourself in the five senses. Engage sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell to anchor in the present.
• Use mindfulness or self-hypnosis. Re-train your brain to shift from hypervigilance to calm attention.
• Avoid caffeine and sugar. Both increase anxiety symptoms in people with an overactive Anxious Dragon.

4. The Wounded Dragon.
Origin: Past emotional, physical, or sexual trauma especially when unresolved.
Triggers: Anything that subconsciously echoes the trauma (tone of voice, place, smell, anniversary dates).
Reactions: Flashbacks, avoidance, emotional numbing, hypervigilance.
ANTs: “I’m still in danger.” “I can’t trust anyone.” “It was my fault.”

Taming strategies:

• Trauma-focused therapy. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps reprocess traumatic memory pathways.
• Journaling. Write letters to your younger self from a place of safety and strength.
• Bridging techniques. Mentally “bridge” the past to the present by reminding yourself: That was then, this is now.

5. The Should and Shaming Dragon.
Origin: Environments dominated by criticism, legalism, or unrealistic standards.
Triggers: Disapproval, failure, religious guilt, internal pressure.
Reactions: Secrecy, addictions, self-sabotage, isolation.
ANTs: “I should be better.” “I’m disgusting.”

Taming strategies:

• Replace “should” with “want.” “I should exercise” becomes “I want to feel better, so I’ll move my body today.”
• Identify whether shame is productive or paralyzing. Constructive guilt leads to change; toxic shame leads to hiding.
• Practice transparency in safe relationships. Shame withers when spoken aloud in trusted company.

6. The Responsible Dragon.
Origin: Childhood experiences of feeling responsible for others’ pain, especially in dysfunctional homes.
Triggers: Seeing someone in distress, being asked for help, hearing emotional pain.
Reactions: Codependency, over-functioning, burnout.
ANTs: “If I don’t fix it, no one will.” “I should be able to help.” “I can’t rest until they’re okay.”

Taming strategies:

• Distinguish help from enablement. Ask, “Am I solving for them what they should solve themselves?”
• Replace obligation with ownership. Change “I should” to “I choose” to reclaim agency.
• Set healthy limits. Use “yes, but not now” as a transition phrase to create space before overcommitting.

7. The Special, Spoiled, or Entitled Dragon.
Origin: Being overly indulged, excessively praised, or shielded from consequences.
Triggers: Not getting your way, being told no, unmet expectations.
Reactions: Anger, entitlement, blaming, acting out.
ANTs: “You owe me.” “It’s not my fault.” “I deserve special treatment.”

Taming strategies:

• Practice disciplined restraint. Say no to yourself intentionally to build frustration tolerance.
• Do things that inconvenience you for someone else’s benefit. It rewires entitlement toward service.
• Embrace accountability. Have someone close speak truth to your blind spots regularly.

8. The Angry Dragon.
Origin: Childhood modeling of anger or repeated betrayal, rejection, or shame.
Triggers: Any perceived slight, disrespect, or threat to pride.
Reactions: Irritability, explosive outbursts, grudge-holding.
ANTs: “They’re out to get me.” “I can’t let this go.” “People always hurt me.”

Taming strategies:

• Use the “name it to tame it” approach. Label anger early to reduce intensity.
• Redirect energy toward lifting others. Acts of affirmation calm emotional intensity and reinforce empathy.
• Interrupt rumination with movement. Physical activity releases adrenaline and breaks the anger loop.

9. The Judgmental Dragon.
Origin: Environments with double standards, favoritism, or moral rigidity.
Triggers: Injustice, hypocrisy, perceived incompetence in others.
Reactions: Harshness, sarcasm, superiority.
ANTs: “They’re wrong.” “I know better.” “People are so stupid.”

Taming strategies:

• Ask if you’re reacting to the present or repairing the past. Many judgments are echoes of unresolved wounds.
• Practice curiosity instead of critique. Replace “What’s wrong with them?” with “What shaped them?”
• Slow down your response time. A 10-second pause before reacting creates space for perspective.

10. The Grief and Loss Dragon.
Origin: Loss of loved ones, relationships, roles, or identity.
Triggers: Anniversaries, places, photos, similar events.
Reactions: Sadness, withdrawal, anxiety, emotional numbness.
ANTs: “It will never get better.” “I’ll always feel this way” “I have nothing left.”

Taming strategies:

• Honor the loss with rituals. Write letters, visit memorials, or create symbolic ways to mark grief.
• Practice balanced remembering. Don’t just remember what was lost, also name what remains.
• Lean into structured activity. Routine and physical motion anchor emotional regulation.

11. The Death Dragon.
Origin: Fear of mortality, often linked to past near-death experiences or major illness.
Triggers: Accidents, health scares, news about death, aging.
Reactions: Denial, existential dread, chronic worry.
ANTs: “I’m going to die soon.” “I won’t see tomorrow.” “This could be the end.”

Taming strategies:

• Face mortality directly. Read books on meaning and legacy. Write your eulogy or obituary to reflect on what matters.
• Shift from fear to preparation. Create plans that empower — wills, health plans, spiritual practices.
• Replace avoidance with action. Live aligned with your values today, rather than fearing tomorrow.

12. The Hopeless or Helpless Dragon.
Origin: Overwhelming stress, failure, or situations that resisted change despite effort.
Triggers: Loss of control, rejection, failure, persistent obstacles.
Reactions: Apathy, withdrawal, passive behavior, depression.
ANTs: “Nothing I do matters.” “I can’t change this.” “What’s the point?”

Taming strategies:

• Focus on small, achievable wins. Progress activates hope. Celebrate even minor successes.
• Break tasks into micro-steps. Reduce overwhelm by reducing the size of each action.
• Surround yourself with people of action. Proximity to momentum creates internal motivation.

13. The Ancestral Dragon.
Origin: Unresolved trauma passed down generationally — war, genocide, slavery, abandonment, addiction.
Triggers: Reaching the same age as an ancestor during their trauma, cultural pressure, inherited beliefs.
Reactions: Guilt, anxiety, identity confusion, rebellion.
ANTs: “Something’s wrong with me.” “I don’t belong.” “I have to make up for what they lost.”

Taming strategies:

• Study your family history. Understanding what was passed down brings insight and clarity.
• Separate your story from theirs. Journal or discuss what belongs to you and what doesn’t.
• Choose what legacy you will carry. Intentionally pass on strength, not suffering.

You’re not broken, you’re patterned. These “dragons” formed in response to real experiences, but they don’t have the final word. When you understand what shaped them and how they operate, you no longer have to live at their mercy. What once felt automatic can become intentional, and what once felt permanent can start to change.

Scotty