Intentional integrity makes an honorable life visible …

In Growing Deep in the Christian Life, Charles Swindoll tells a story about an honest act that took an unexpected turn:

Several years ago, in Long Beach, California, a fellow went into a fried chicken place and bought a couple of chicken dinners for himself and his date late one afternoon. The young woman at the counter inadvertently gave him the proceeds from the day — a whole bag of money (much of it cash) instead of fried chicken.

After driving to their picnic site, the two of them sat down to open the meal and enjoy some chicken together. They discovered a whole lot more than chicken – over $800! But he was unusual. He quickly put the money back in the bag.

They got back into the car and drove all the way back. Mr. Clean got out, walked in, and became an instant hero. By then the manager was frantic. The guy with the bag of money looked the manager in the eye and said, “I want you to know I came by to get a couple of chicken dinners and wound up with all this money. Here.”

Well, the manager was thrilled to death. He said, “Oh, great, let me call the newspaper. I’m gonna have your picture put in the local newspaper. You’re the most honest man I’ve heard of.”

To which they guy quickly responded, “Oh no, no, don’t do that!” Then he leaned closer and whispered, “You see, the woman I’m with is not my wife…she’s uh, somebody else’s wife.”

The manager saw a man returning a bag of money and concluded that he had met a man of integrity. Then one whispered sentence changed the entire picture. The man had been honest at the restaurant counter while living dishonorably in a far more serious area of his life.

That uncomfortable ending gets close to the way integrity is often measured. People tend to collect evidence from the parts of life that make them look good. They remember the money they returned, the promise they kept, the favor they performed, or the temptation they resisted. Meanwhile, another corner of life may remain carefully closed because opening it would challenge the favorable conclusion.

A measure of honesty can exist inside a deeply divided life. Someone may tell the truth when speaking to friends and regularly mislead a spouse. A business owner may give generously to the church while taking advantage of customers. A Christian may speak warmly to people on Sunday and treat family members harshly at home. The good conduct is real, but it cannot cover the conduct kept out of sight.

Integrity brings the whole life together. The person seen at church, the person known at home, and the person who appears when no one else is present are governed by the same devotion to Christ. Weaknesses and failures still occur, but they are brought into the light. They are confessed and corrected instead of being hidden behind carefully selected acts of goodness.

Paul describes this kind of life in Romans 12:17: “Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.”

“Do things in such a way” calls for intention. Paul’s language carries the sense of giving advance thought to honorable conduct. Integrity does not wait until a decision has already been made and then search for a respectable explanation. It considers the decision beforehand, while there is still time to ask where it will lead and what it will reveal.

That is the tool of intentional integrity. Before speaking, acting, agreeing, responding, or entering a situation, the whole choice is placed in the light. Every part is considered together — the action people will see, the motive they may never see, the method being used, and the effect the choice will have on others.

Paul says this honorable character should be visible to “everyone.” He includes more than the people who already share the Christian faith. Neighbors, relatives, coworkers, customers, and people who distrust Christianity are among those who observe how Christians live. They may never enter a church or open a Bible, but they encounter the conduct of people who claim to follow Christ.

Some Christians become uncomfortable with the thought of being watched. Concern for appearances can certainly become an unhealthy performance, especially when the goal is to receive praise. Paul is describing something much deeper. He calls for conduct that deserves to be seen because the complete story is honorable.

The man in Swindoll’s story was happy for the manager to see the returned money. He became alarmed when the manager wanted others to look more closely. His reputation could survive a glance, but it could not survive attention. Intentional integrity builds a life that does not depend upon people looking away at the right moment.

The first half of Romans 12:17 makes this especially challenging: “Never pay back evil with more evil.” Intentional integrity is tested when another person has done wrong. Hurt creates a powerful desire to strike back, and retaliation can begin to feel justified. A person who has been lied about may feel entitled to spread damaging information. Someone who has been treated unfairly may begin looking for an opportunity to settle the score.

Paul does not allow another person’s evil to decide how a Christian will behave. The actions of others may create pain, loss, anger, and difficult choices, but they do not change what is honorable. Intentional integrity chooses the response before resentment turns revenge into something that sounds reasonable.

This same tool can be used whenever a choice begins moving toward secrecy. A conversation may need to be deleted before a spouse sees it. Important details may need to be left out before an agreement sounds acceptable. The story may need to be adjusted before friends will approve. Each of these impulses sounds an alarm: the full truth is becoming dangerous to the image being protected.

A simple question can stop that movement before it goes further: Would this still be honorable if everyone who will be affected knew the whole story?

The question reaches beyond the possibility of being caught. A person may be confident that no one will ever discover what happened and still recognize that the conduct cannot stand in the light. Intentional integrity cares about the character of the choice before it cares about the likelihood of exposure.

It also closes the hiding places created by technical honesty. Words can be factually accurate while being arranged to produce a false impression. An important detail can be withheld so that another person reaches the desired conclusion. A promise can be kept according to its narrow wording while its clear meaning is violated. Intentional integrity refuses to use another person’s misunderstanding as an advantage.

This kind of living will sometimes cost more than compromise. Telling the whole truth may damage a carefully protected image. Treating someone fairly may reduce a profit. Ending a sinful relationship may bring loneliness. Correcting a wrong may require an apology, repayment, or a painful conversation.

Those costs reveal the strength of integrity. Honor becomes visible when a person chooses what is right without first demanding that it be comfortable. The decision says that faithfulness to Christ is worth more than the advantage dishonesty falsely promised.

The most important work often begins before the crisis arrives. Boundaries can be established before attraction becomes an emotional attachment. Honesty can become a settled conviction before a lie offers an easy escape. Fairness can become part of a person’s character before money provides an incentive to abandon it. These decisions prepare the heart to recognize compromise while it is still approaching.

Every person has parts of life that are easier to display than others. Intentional integrity invites God into the parts that create the strongest desire for privacy. It opens the closed door, tells the unedited story, and allows hidden motives to be named. Whatever cannot remain there honorably must be confessed and changed.

The restaurant manager reached for the newspaper because he believed he had found an honorable man. The man leaned forward because he knew the whole story could not bear the attention. Intentional integrity makes a different choice long before that moment arrives. It chooses a life that can remain standing when the whisper becomes public and everyone finally sees.

“… Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.”

Scotty