Are you a skilled liar? There are many ways we can tell a lie …

Take a group of people, ask how many of them are people of integrity, and chances are all hands would go up.

Ask the same group of people if they think it’s wrong to lie, and chances are not every hand would go up.

On top of that, it’s likely some of the people who claim they don’t think it’s okay to lie … are lying! At least, if you look closely at their lives.

Most of us probably don’t purposely, boldly, consciously choose to lie as a practice. But the truth is, many people “find it convenient” to not tell the truth when they think it benefits them.

One example comes from Christianstories.com:

A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.” The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

We think lying is the bold telling of an untruth. But there are many ways we can tell a lie, such as the following examples:

A direct lie. Of course, the most profound way of lying to someone is directly tell a lie. Someone asks you a question and you purposely lie in your answer.

Exaggeration. This is when in our talking we “go over the top” in what we’re saying. The seven-inch fish we say we caught was really four inches.

Hyperbole. Similar to exaggeration, this is when what we say isn’t even “realistic” exaggeration. The three minutes it took to reel in that four-inch fish was a mighty half-hour battle with a magnificent marlin in the local pond!

Half-truth. This is when we tell only a portion of truth — the portion that benefits us.

Lie by omission. This is when we edit out certain facts of what we say to create a narrative we want someone to believe.

Misleading statements. Nat Eliason, writing on the topic of misleading statements, provides a great example:

In March of 2015, I became a best-selling author.

Hearing just that, what all did you assume? Maybe that I had a book published, it was in bookstores, it hit the top of the charts and was listed in that respected NYT column of best-selling books. That’s what the statement is designed to make you think, and unless you’re particularly savvy, you may have fallen for it.

What it actually means is that I self-published a very short e-book on Amazon then used a few schemes to pump it up to the top of the free marketing e-books for three days. Being a “best selling author” in this case means almost nothing. Anyone could do it. It’s a true but misleading statement designed to make you impressed, have you take me more seriously, or position myself as an authority.

Controlling a response. This could be those times when talking with a co-worker about an interaction with your boss but you tell only your side of the story or re-phrase less desirable words you had used at the time.

Gossip or covert communication. Talking about someone “behind their back” inevitably leads to falsehoods being told about them. That’s because they are not present to represent their side of a story or share facts only they know about themselves or their situation. Gossip is a fast-track to assumptions and judgments about someone in the absence of truth.

Name-dropping. Dropping someone’s name when you only met them long enough to shake hands but letting others think you have a relationship, or that they endorse something you say, is misleading and a way of lying to others.

Creating false impressions. Similar to name-dropping, when you describe something in such a way that it creates a false impression for someone, you’re leading someone to believe something that isn’t true.

Self-protection. Many people don’t find it comfortable to be vulnerable with others, so they might downplay their emotions or might act like they dont’ care about something when they do (or act like they do care about something when they don’t).

Cherry-picking data. Spend five minutes online or watching a political debate and you’ll routinely see people lying by cherry-picking data that would support their claims, even though they know there is other data directly opposite of their claims.

Silence. Yes, we can actually lie to others by remaining silent, letting them believe something that we know isn’t true by not saying anything when we know better.

BUT THE TRUTH IS …

The truth about lying is that it’s a sin and something God hates:

“There are six things the Lord hates — no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family,” Proverbs 6:16-19.

“The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth,” Proverbs 12:22.

In fact, scripture reveals that being a liar is a serious thing:

“I will not allow deceivers to serve in my house, and liars will not stay in my presence,” Psalm 101:7.

“And the one sitting on the throne said, ‘Look, I am making everything new!’ And then he said to me, ‘Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.’ And he also said, ‘It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega — the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. All who are victorious will inherit all these blessings, and I will be their God, and they will be my children. But cowards, unbelievers, the corrupt, murderers, the immoral, those who practice witchcraft, idol worshipers, and all liars — their fate is in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death,'” Revelation 21:5-8.

The Apostle Paul helps us understand that lying is to have no part in the new character of a Christian:

“So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming. You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him,” Colossians 3:5-10.

Finally, let’s take in something Jesus said when talking about the topic of making vows. It’s a statement that simplifies being a person of integrity and honesty and makes the telling of truth something that is concise:

“Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one,” Matthew 5:37.

So how about you — are you a skillful liar? Or a person of integrity who speaks the truth?

Scotty

P.S. You can dig deeper into the topic of being a person of integrity with my book, “Being A Person of Integrity.” Learn more about the book by clicking here.